A while back I read a quirky little book called "Before You Leap: A Frog's Eye View of Life's Greatest Lessons" by Kermit The Frog. While I wouldn't recommend you run out and buy it, it did have some cute and helpful things in it.
He talked at one point in the book about when bad things happen. Below is an excerpt from the book (with my points in brackets).
"But, for many like myself, the only way to deal with difficult times is to accept them and learn from the experience. And what have I learned? I'm so glad you asked because I just happen to have here ...
WHAT I’VE LEARNED ABOUT BAD THINGS
BAD THINGS HURT.
Sometimes the hurt is physical, as when Gonzo misjudges In motorcycle reentry trajectory and lands on your instep or when Miss Piggy inflicts a karate chop to your lower lumbar region. Sometimes the hurt goes deeper as when someone disappoints you or Miss Piggy lands on your instep. In either case, you must try to heal. Let time pass and the hurt will go away, though you may walk with a limp.
(Bad things do hurt and often we make ourselves miserable by carrying them with us forever. We have to learn to deal with things and move on. Eventually the pain will go away. There will be subtle reminders but we will survive.)
BAD THINGS DON'T MEAN BAD PEOPLE.
We are all capable of causing bad things to happen to others; that does not mean we are bad. Even when someone goes out of his way to make bad things happen to people, that doesn't mean he is bad. We have to give people the benefit of the doubt and to forgive them for the hurt they may cause.
(We have all been in the position where we have hurt people and caused bad things to happen to them. That is life and making mistakes is part of it. Apologies aren't just for wimps. If we can learn from these mistakes and try to treat people better afterward then we are working to make ourselves better people)
ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING
There are two ways to react to bad things. The easy way is to get angry, cast aspersions, and generally get in a bad mood about the world and everything in it. The other way to react takes a lot more work. You can get over it. That's right; accept it, be happy you survived it, and get past it. Then make every effort to prevent bad things from happening to you and to others.
(Why carry it with you? Why get so ticked off that everyone around you is impacted? The key is to try and let things roll off you and keep on moving. Forgive and forget is the old saying but that is hard to do. It's much easier to be negative and whine about things. It's harder to accept reality and move forward. I think the ones that master step two are the ones who "really get it".)
The only thing worse than having something bad happen to you is worrying about it beforehand. Constant fretting can make you afraid to face the world or even get up in the morning. Don't be a worry wart. Not that there's anything wrong with warts; some of my best friends cause warts.
(A good quote I once read said that worrying is like a rocking chair. It will give you something to do but it won't get you anywhere. Why worry about things you can't control. Focus on the factors you can control and work to make these contributing factors to your success.)
IF IT WERE EASY, EVERYONE WOULD BE YOU.
Overcoming difficult limes is what turns you into "you.” We are often at our best when we're facing our worst situations. Know that when you come out of it, you can be a bigger you.
(This bring back the old "tough times don't last" quote but I think it goes beyond that. We are shaped by the decisions we make and the experiences we go through. As a coach, I work with a staff and 12 players. We experience the same things, both good and bad, but we get different "experience" from each situation. What may prove to be a situation with a lasting impact on one person may not be on another. Each person is shaped differently and we are all going through tough times in our life. The key is recognizing them, knowing how to deal with them and becoming better because of them. That is called growth and positive growth is a great thing.)
As Kermit sums up this section (and I couldn't have done it any better :)) "Life is Great but Without Bad Times, We Wouldn't Know the Difference"